I love the weather. I hope it keeps up... It makes me really anxious for summer time. The other day I was swinging on the swings... made me feel so comfortable and like everything went away... i enjoyed it a lot.
So... Do you ever feel like one day you wake up and everything has totally changed but you don't recall it all changing? I do. I have had that feeling a lot lately... I feel like the romance that was in my relationship is now gone.. we are almost 3 months shy of a year. ... and we are pretty spontaneous with our sex life.... but it just feels like we're getting into this rut of having sex once a day - only at night before bed quick on and off... no kisses...no real big foreplay.. and if it is it feels like its all expected to be me giving him the pleasing and then its like we get right to sex. sometimes it's as cold as just getting it over with...meanwhile i lay there after most of the time not satisfied at all while he'e already half sleeping.
I feel kinda low too, this week has been that lovely time of month and okay whatever thats fine.. so i caught him the other night looking at porn.. okay whatever.. all guys do it. .. but then i thought too considering of the timing that he just needed something extra.. but then when everything is in the okay.. nothing.
His way of trying to initiate it tonite was after i asked him to roll over and snuggle me.. but no kisses nothing to make me feel like really getting in the mood. So then this whole porn thing starts to bother me... I mean he is looking at it.. but when im there he can't be affectionate like he used to be? and when i ask him to kiss me more its like its a big deal.. i like being kissed.
And so tonight i tried to mention it.. and he doesn't ever say anything back.. he goes.. well atleast we are still having sex... right. Bottom line... makes me feel like blah... makes me want to cry.
goodnight i suppose.
